Are we all familiar with this Hitopadesha fable? A man plans to bury his father alive because the father has grown very old and has according to the man become “futile”. The man’s little son also hops onto the cart much against the man’s wishes, as he is eager to know where his grandfather and father are going? Upon reaching a distant spot from the village the man starts digging. The young boy curiously inquires as to what is going on? Deciding to tell him the truth the man says that he is going to bury grandfather alive as he is of no more use in the house now. The son immediately takes the spade from the man’s hands and starts digging a new grave. When the man asks him what is he doing the son replies that he does not want the man to wait till his grave is dug when he becomes old so he is keeping it ready…Times have changed but even till this day the mentalities of the people remain the same.
Talking purely from an Indian perspective, in the olden days we had customs of early marriages for the children and say by the time these individuals reached the age of forty their parents retreated in to the forests and this was the period of Vanaprastha and hence the old people did not let a situation arise wherein they would be forced out of the house. But today we all need parents till we find our wings, which in our country extends fairly beyond even middle age. Only after this when maybe the old couple’s hospital bills reach astronomical figures do we all start looking at them as a liability to us. Each cough of theirs becomes that much more annoying, our children just cant stand the old people’s constant interference and suddenly our “young” homes no longer have any place for the same two individuals who all the while meant the entire universe to us. Today, mostly, the old people in the house are allowed to stay because they have another necessary responsibility of raising even their grandchildren if the parents happen to be working. A few “lucky” ones might also find themselves on a plane to the United States of America or any other random country where the average educated Indian is busy minting money, for the same reason that they would now have to permanently fill in for the baby sitter in a totally alien land. Why is this entire thing happening? To put it blatantly, because you don’t have to pay for their services and probably a sense of security that they will not forsake you.
Considering this present societal scenario one thing is extremely clear that we are living in pitiable times. My aim is not to put anyone on a guilt trip neither have I a treasure cove of knowledge to fall back to and be edifying. There are realizations that should come from within us and thankfully they do. All it needs is a little bit of introspection.
Today’s emerging trends are of the modern day graves, the old age homes. I can daresay this problem is prevalent only in the urban patches of the country. Nuclear families are the norm of the day, only the cities are big but its spaces for inhabitants negligible, we never seem to find time from our busy schedules to take care of the aged parents and then there is also the perennial problem of the financial noose around the modern man’s neck. All these problems have forced us maybe to send away our parents to these old age homes. A concept of the west, these homes are much more humane than the home that drove these people out. All the needs of the inmates are taken care of and they are always under the personal supervision of a nurse. All the family has to do is pay the monthly fee to the Home and any other bills that the Home might have incurred in taking care of the old person. Trends suggest that in case of no other feasible option even the old people are finding this the next best alternative. They have company of their own age group here, all their medication is taken care of, and they are fed on time and provided if wanting with any other comfort. Then it might be asked of me as to why I called them a modern day grave? Yes, I vouch by the fact that everything is fine in a Home like this but where is the love that these people deserve? Have they struggled all their lives to bring us up only to end up in an old age home to be fed by an unknown person in the last few days of their lives? What about the mental agony they are being put through when they fully understand and gulp down the fact that they are being sent away because their own son or daughter now feel that they are worthless and have no time, space or even love left to spare. This cannot be called even a question of ethics because it far transcends mere boundaries like that.
Unhealthy trends such as this one have just begun to spawn in our society and it is up to us to nip them right in the bud. There are a few pillars of our culture and respect for elders and especially for our parents is one of them. A pillar whose foundation must never be rendered weak. All the old people in our homes are asking of us is to provide them with reasonably comfortable days in the ripe of their age and it is our least responsibility to show gratitude to them after all that they have done to place us where we find ourselves today. Lets not disappoint them. If not for them, for our own sake. For tomorrow we might be facing a similar situation for our own selves as the tale in the beginning taught us.
